Monday 23 February 2015

“Good” government starts to… umm… never, under my reign!!!

Soon after the election in 2013, the Fiberals had a chain of boo boos. OK, it was new government maybe they were just learning a few things about being in government and with a Rhodes scholar at the helm, one could be excused for thinking that, they surely would turn things around. But the stuff-ups just kept on coming to the extent that the electorate became somewhat blasé  and the polls improved (see, there are many ways to improve the polls). Then came the almighty stuff-up – the budget.

Finally, a couple of backbenchers gathered enough courage to question Mein Fuhrer and so we had the spill with no contender!!! The backbenchers haven’t, as yet, to my knowledge, been given special tablets and asked to do the honourable thing. But there clearly have been some casualties.

So, on Monday, Mein Fuhrer remained as Mein Fuhrer. Loved the “March of support” in Fiberal uniform, of course!! The Fuhrer looked glorious surrounded by his bevy, most of whom no-one had seen before, including him, I suspect! The thugs went into the party room and came out with perhaps a few less! Say, 40% less!! Great choreography! So much so, that we all knew it was another big lie!!

<i>Illustration: Alan Moir.</i>

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Then came the blurb about “Good government”! Obviously, adult government isn’t necessarily “good government”!!! One can’t be blamed for thinking that good government might mean a stem of the flow of boo boos!. We were all mistaken – good government means an increase in boo boos to over one a day!!! So we had four in a matter of three days and we hadn’t even made it to Friday!!!

Boo Boo #1: Walking out on the “Closing the gap” session

Illustration: Ron Tandberg

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Clearly there is Bipartisan agreement on many aspects of this issue – The fact that there is a gap, that the gap isn’t really closing, that it is perhaps a good idea to close it and finally, that nothing should really be done about it. So the reports will keep coming, but there just ain’t no votes in indigenous affairs!

But the boo boo was not that there was complete agreement on “stuff the gap”, but that the Fiberals would choose to walk out on the opposition leader’s speech on the basis that he was politicising the issue. Clearly a violation of the nudge, nudge, wink, wink agreement of not criticising each other about issues that have no votes in them. White Australia would do anything to make the gap even bigger! After all isn’t that competition, survival of the fittest, win at all cost, free market forces and all that sorta’ thin’!! We would be turnin’ into a “commie” state if we did otherwise! In any case, the Whities beat ‘em to a pulp when they first got here so why change now?!

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Boo Boo #2: The Submarine debacle

Then there was the whole submarine deal cut between the South Australian MPs to get more support in the spill! Mr. Cigar man had been telling us how, due to Labor (of course), there was no time to follow due diligence on this massive contract and we all know what the Fiberals think about Australia’s great canoe building skills! But the crazy monk had hoodwinked the MPs into believing that the South Australian would be allowed to bid. But then, after the spill victory, it wasn’t quite sure as to what they could bid in! nor what the actual promise had been?@**!!!

<i>Illustration: Cathy Wilcox</i>

This chaos didn’t stop there but went on to the Putin submarines only to discover that whilst Putin submarines were a BAD, BAD thing, Putin fighters were a GOOD, GOOD thing!!

 

Boo Boo #3: Children in detention report

The report was out on the 11th of November. The government hid the report so that it could not be debated appropriately. What probably also happened, though this has not been analysed by the media is that the government frantically released as many as they could in the 2-3 months that followed prior to the next parliament sitting – so much so that, the number had change by almost 200 between morning and Malcolm T turning up at Q&A!!! But no one really knows the numbers, as they are kept secret due to national security!!

But Phonies response was to shoot the messenger!

Quite frankly, this is another one that simply does not have any votes. Aussies have no interest in “illegal queue jumpers” kids or otherwise! In this case Abbott didn’t even acknowledge that children in detention was not such a great idea!

Here’s a justifiable cause for a Royal commission!

 

Boo Boo #4: Jobs holocaust

The less said about this one, the better!!

 

… and the Boo Boos didn’t stop there!

They just keep pouring out at a rate that we’ve not experienced before. It’s almost as if he shouldn’t open his mouth at all. He should take the approach he’s taken before!!

So we’ve had the

Illustration: Matt Golding.

I’ll leave these ones for another time!

For those thinking they might have had some display of competence after the spill, they must be pretty close to given up. The Fiberals struggle between giving themselves good leadership by changing it and looking like Labor or remaining as it is and hoping for some “Children overboard” racist opportunity to come along. Unfortunately the Aussie public don’t seem to be reacting to the racist card that much either (over used by little Johnny Howard) – Phoney’s already tried that one. 

Maybe there is a compromise – the Fiberals with no leader, perhaps. This way they would get rid of the mad monk but not really replace him – so not really like Labor (see, I can be smart at times!)!! It’s not as if the PM’s been doin’ us any favours!

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