Phony’s given his boss a demotion

Aren’t we all glad that the silly-season is over and the clowns are gathering back at the great circus tent for the even-more-silly-season! Phony could barely wait till his vacation was over to start clowning around.

So, the question is “what drives someone to give their boss a demotion?!!” Is it simply the fact that they can, is it plain ignorance and stupidity or is it a far more deep rooted urge?

There has been much written about how stupid the knighthood thing is and that it has little significance to . . . ummmm. . .anyone, really!!! OK, the Duke may have to carry a bigger burden on his chest, which is already over-laden and of course, he might feel a tad offended by the cheek of the “spear throwing natives from the colony”. I can imaging the bureaucrats in London scrambling to the rules books to figure out if this joke was in fact legal and proper(!!) and if so can the colonies really demote a Prince(?) and will it be the Queen next?

May be this business of having colonies that one has little control over, isn’t what it is made up to be. In the good ol’e days a couple of massacres on the streets and a public execution or two would have brought back order. But now, what action does one take?! They must wish that little Johnny boy failed in his lopsided bid to kill the republican movement forever! If Australia was a republic then the concept of knighthood would not even have existed and even if it did, one could politely (or non-politely) decline!

These must be the moments when dear ol’e Lizzie wishes she had handed over the crown to that Lova-boy-total-looney, Charles! She would have been stuck between a rock and a hard place – do I offend the natives in the colony (by refusing the nomination) or do I demote the hubby?! She may have hoped the natives would come to their senses, but in this case, that would be unlikely ‘cos there are oodles of minerals and resources in the colony, but sense is one thing  that is terribly lacking – it’s running amok!

I sometimes do wonder what goes on in the Dukes mind. Maybe people of his generation and up-bringing love the adoration from the colonies and get great pleasure from such titles and therefore see nothing stupid about the whole affair.

Looking at it from Phoney and his band of vagabonds’ perspective, well, those backbenchers really must feel frizzled and frazzled! What the media analysts have failed to point out is that whilst this decision has no impact on anyone, it is “Captain Phoney’s” sense of judgement that is on exhibition. The Fairfax poll suggested a 93% view that it was a stupid decision. How does one come back from that?!

One has to admire the “Fiberals” sense of loyalty. They know the mess that was created by the Labour shenanigans and clearly do not want a messy leadership battle. So, they keep “copping” it. The media keep saying that this will be the last stuff-up Phonie could afford and have been saying so for the last 3 or 4!

Even if the Fiberals decided on a leadership, who would they go to. I-like-to-look-pretty-and-glare-at-people-but-have-no-idea-Bishop or I-stuffed-my-chances-with-the-budget-Hockey or I-have-no-back-bone-Turnbull?!! Really the options aren’t great.

It is my view that Phoney has resigned to the fact that he will be a one term PM (even the racism card that did so well for little-johnny-boy is working for Phoney). He is now attempting to build his legacy. A legacy that is driven by values that are deeply ingrained in his DNA. It’s rarely that one notices some of the idiosyncrasies of politicians until they come under pressure combined with media scrutiny. We certainly saw that with Rudd and now we see it with Phoney – although some had been displayed in his university days.

A man who spent a great amount of time studying Catholicism and fantasising the pomp and majesty of his native country can very easily have a framework that is quite disturbing. Whilst Phoney appears to be quite a “fun” person in social terms (compared to Rudd, who was clearly a nerd and social misfit), there is a serious side to him that is driven by 200 year old values and unhealthy level of religious belief. I suspect he does believe that Lizzie is some form of deity, just as the pope has a direct lineage to god!

By bestowing a knighthood to the deities spouse (a demi-deity), he has cleared the barriers to heaven. His next step would be to glorify the pope in some manner. Unfortunately that might be quite a challenge as from what I can see, the current pope is down-to-Earth as a pope can be and would consider a knighthood as frivolity!

Phoney must truly believes that he has been chosen by god to liberate and lead his people to prosperity. So we keep having these “Moses returns from Mount Sinai” moments that he calls “Captain’s calls” with commandments that he truly believes are from god!

• Help the rich chicks breed ‘cos we need smarter kids
• Bring back Knights and Dames – that will fix the worlds problems.

What is most disturbing is that the Dumb-Aussie-Voters elected this man as captain of “Team Australia”. We are fortunate that Aussies are so dumb that they don’t know what’s hit ‘em!

At least this has provided the catalyst for the creative juices of many a cartoonist – some of my favourites:

Illustration:John Shakepeare (SMH)

Illustration:Ron Tandberg (SMH)

Illustration:Andrew Dyson (SMH)

Illustration:Alan Moir (SMH)

Illustration:Cathy Wilcox (SMH)Link

Illustration:Matt Golding (SMH)

Response to: Sledging shows Australian cricket culture has lost its moral compass

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The crude, crass Aussie mentality raises it's ugly head as expected. The win-at-all-costs mentality, which is well and truly revered by Aussies, drives this bogan behaviour. But sadly most Aussies don't even realise what the rest of world thinks of them and some are even proud of it.

At a higher level (than these stupid remarks), clearly there is a refusal to accept that English speaking countries are (or have already) losing control of cricket. So, with bogans like the Aussie players on the field, there is bound to be more of these loutish encounters.

Warner is cricket's version of Beale. No matter how many times he offends, he is considered a potential match winner and will always be in the team - win at any cost. Unfortunately sometimes players with good skills come in ugly packages and when the bureaucracy worship them (never mind the public), the packages become even worse.

Whenever ugly sledging incidents occur, there is usually one common factor - Australia. Aussies have been up to this rubbish since Chappell (Ian), Lillee and Marsh (a selector, so what hope!!) under the pretext that "we play hard". Sorry, most teams play hard, they just have different value sets, vastly differing from the crass Aussie values. It baffles me that Aussies are treating this any different from what happens in pretty much every match that the Aussies are involved in.

When I travel in the sub-continent I watch plenty of cricket and other sports. Sledging just is not even contemplated. Just add an Aussie team and it's rampant, regardless of the sport.

I watched a game of soccer a few nights back where the Aussies were beaten by South Korea. There were 2 Koreans stretchered off due to elbow contact to head, in what is referred to as a "limited contact sport". The Aussie commentator's excuse was that it was necessary to keep their balance - clearly the Aussies need to elbow the opposition in the head to keep balance - something that the other teams manage without! Or maybe, he was referring to keeping balance on the score card!

It was ironic that Ian Chappell, of all people (a bad proponent of this loutish behaviour) should suggest that someone might get walloped by a bat, if it went on. Aussies have never been able to keep the riff-raff out of their teams. Many other teams have not quite known how to deal with louts on the cricket field and the Aussies kept interpreting this as “mental toughness”. 

Being a bully on the field may be considered "being tough" by many an Aussie, but others consider it tougher to play fair and refrain from loutish behaviour - it's just a different intellectual level.

Unfortunately for the sport of cricket, over the last 50 or so years, the Aussies (supported by the other "white" cricketing nations) have had too much control of the administration of the game. So, whilst sometimes frowned upon, Aussie sledging has been mostly accepted.

What's worse is that in the "new world" where India is the dominant country, not much will change as the young Indian players are just as good at dishing out this rubbish. Although there is some hope as sledging incidents are still mostly restricted to games with Aussie involvement (even the Indians don't sledge elsewhere).

Commenter

Cockeyed Observer

Date and time

January 21, 2015, 11:31AM

PS: I merged a couple of comments here – one of which was censored and the other published by Fairfax – yes, I am successful in getting some comment under the watchful eye of the censor!

Response to: Fred Nile's latest outrage shows why his time should be up

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If there ever was a bigoted view, then, you could be assured that the Rev would have said something aligned with it.

How come he gets votes, you ask!!!

The truth is that whilst there may be many a leftie intellectual despising his views, the majority of the dumb-Aussie-voters have the same bigoted views (sexist, racist, homophobic). His archaic views are greatly shared by the voters – hence the votes.

Let me delve, if I dare, into the mind of the holy rev and suggest appropriate awards:

• Let's give the guy who died the "Manly-but not-that-manly-cos-he-is-gay" award, forget the lady who died - a woman cannot be manly (or brave for that matter).
• Let's label the guys who ran as "cowards" and the women who ran, oh! well - who cares, they are just women and expected to be cowards.
• The men who stayed get "not-that-manly-but-not-cowards" awards and the women who stayed - ummmm they get the "stay-put-be-pretty-and-get-rescued-by-the-heroic-men" award but what were they doing there anyway, away from their kitchens?.
• As for the two Asian chics, whilst they may have been in the kitchen they shouldn't have even been in the country!!! – Deportation or maybe detention and Nauru.

Bravery awards themselves are simply out-dated. They are from a bygone era when we glorified war-mongers. We needed to, to ensure we had sufficient canon fodder (remember the Gurkha) for our many empire building expeditions. Glorifying the military is in our DNA. It sure provides future Governor General material. In most of the wars we fight, the real heroes are in the opposition as we only fight third world countries who have few weapons (although we like to paint a picture of them as dangerous monsters with military capabilities) and beat 'em up to pulp.

To the Fairfax censors, if you support the satirical nature of Charlie Hebdo, then you will appreciate this comment - but I trust that would be asking too much of Aussie journalism.

Commenter

Cockeyed Observer

Date and time

January 15, 2015, 11:13PM

P.S. Yes, you guessed it, the comment was censored!!

Response to: Second Test: Murali Vijay plunders a century as Aussies wilt in the heat

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Forget the DRS - that is a debate for another time. The lack of DRS is no excuse for pathetic umpiring. The ICC really need to look at why countries are producing such poor umpires. The English umpire is quite a joke. His decisions have been consistently incorrect and against India. It took me back to the “good ole’ days” when we had totally biased home team umpires. I can understand the one-eyed Australian media and public being unable to be blunt about this but most of us know that the 1st test was spoiled by the umpiring and India lost a game that theirs for the taking.

What astounded me was to see the same English umpire back on the field today (for the second test)!!!! How do the ICC manage corrupt umpiring? There were 4 obvious decisions that were wrong in that game and not only were they all against India but they were critical decisions. 3 of India's top order batsmen were given out incorrectly and Australia's only batsmen was given a second go. I can excuse an umpire not giving an LBW when there is some doubt, but giving one when it isn't out, is inexcusable - I guess some of you arm-chair viewers will be unable to comprehend that concept.

I remember the good ole' days when the Aussie media used to slander the umpiring in the subcontinent, when the umpiring in Australia was so much worse (That's why most Aussie top-order-batmen were never given LBW here and most opponent batsmen were). It is not surprising that since umpiring became "professional" and statistics maintained on the quality of decisions, it is the sub-continental umpires who have proven best time and time again. Their pay-eligibility/scale should be dependent on the quality of their performance

A simple solution,  that will increase the pressure on cheating umpires is that, whenever a batsmen is given out, review the decision automatically and maintain a limit for the bowling side to review decisions that are not given out (as they do now).

Commenter

Cockeyed Observer

Date and time

December 17, 2014, 10:32PM

Response to: Boxing Day Test 2014: Ryan Harris back as Aussies relish Indians' whingeing

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Give an immature, naive country kid captaincy and it becomes quite noticeable when they stand up against the more worldly skippers like Dhoni. Skippers usually let the young guns do the dirty work - unfortunately in the Aussie case, the skipper is a young gun - does nothing for international respect. But then, Michael Clarke was no different.

Commenter

Cockeyed Observer

Date and time

December 26, 2014, 12:48AM

Did Cricket Australia’s strategy go horribly wrong

Anyone who has been watching the international cricket this summer would have noticed the difference in the Aussie pitches this year. They are far more bouncy than before. It is no coincidence that the world cup is here and that the final will be played at the MCG. The MCG pitch has been changed so much for this final that we had some of the commentators refer to it as a “slab of concrete”!!

Aussies have historically maintained a home team advantage by having bouncy pitches, arguably the worst in the world. However, with bounce, so comes danger. So we are used to seeing 3 and 4 day tests in Australia and think none of it. We also see sub-continental players breaking arms and fingers at the WACA and attribute it to brilliant, aggressive bowling.

Statistically the Aussie pitches are outliers and therefore arguably the worst in the world. Not to be confused with statements made by players about the “grounds being great”. The facilities for the players and spectators are great and the spectacle itself, is great. However, that is not a reflection of the pitch itself.

All nations adopt some form of strategy to gain home advantage. The Aussie strategy has proven to be much better than the others as it is a real challenge for a touring team to play on these wickets as proven time and time again by the 3 day tests played over here. However, the strategy does have an element of danger associated with it.On one hand, one could argue that Aussie batsmen are used to the bouncy wickets and therefore there is less danger to them, but on the other hand, it could be argued that, there are a whole lot more Aussie batsmen batting on them and therefore the chances of such an injury is greater.

The Phil Hughes tragedy could very well be the outcome of the CA strategy for the world cup. However, it might have provided the opportunity to make these outrageous pitches safer for other nations.

Safer pitches or more Aussie wins and an advantage in the world cup – I guess, knowing the Aussie psyche, it’s a no brainer.

Response to: Adelaide set to host emotional Test opener

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Haven’t we become one of the most self-pitying societies? If this had happened to any other country, we would be calling them wimps (the tough guys that we are) for not playing and making statements like "the best thing for them to get over this is to play the test". We are a bunch of totally self-centred, insular hypocrites.
In our typical arrogant manner, we think that the reason that other countries are empathising with us is because WE are such great people. Let me suggest that on the contrary, the reason they empathise is because THEY are considerate, great people. If something similar had happened to a sub-continental player with a few tests under their belt, we wouldn't even have known about it - I'm told that this has, in fact happened and yes, we didn't care a damn.
We need to take a real good look at ourselves! Maybe CA and the rest of us could learn a thing or two from the Indian team and the approach they are taking about this matter. If it had been the other way around, one can just imagine the arrogance and incentive crude behaviour we could expect from the Aussies,. Can't say we are renown for our diplomacy within the cricket world (or without for that matter!).

Commenter

Cockeyed Observer

Date and time

December 01, 2014, 11:21PM